Needed
by always-unfaithful
Summary: She needed…she needed…she didn't want to think of what she needed because every time she did Stefan's face flashed in her mind. Bonnie/Stefan, mentions of Elena/Stefan, Bonnie/Damon, Bonnie/Jeremy


Title: Needed…

Author: Always-Unfaithful  
>Rating: MA for sexual content<br>Summary: She needed…she needed…she didn't want to think of what she needed because every time she did Stefan's face flashed in her mind.  
>Disclaimer: If I owned these characters I would never let them out to play…<br>A/N: Not my best work, but I really wanted to write a Bonnie/Stefan fic. R&R (don't sugar coat it!) is much appreciated.

Needed…

Stefan was worried. He hadn't wanted to leave Bonnie alone, but when Damon had called earlier that week saying there was a situation in Mystic Falls, she pleaded with him to go since she was in no state to go herself. He regretted the decision as soon as he called her after his plane landed. Her voice was shaky and barely above a whisper, but he heard her attempt at a smile through the phone. She assured him that she was fine and that if he was so worried he should hurry up and get Damon out of whatever trouble he was in so that he could come back to New York.

* * *

><p>Bonnie hadn't been the same since she brought him back to "life" after the Sheriff staked him at the Mystic Grill. She sacrificed a part of her sanity to bring him back for Elena, not knowing that this form of magic would cause consequences that would ruin their existing relationships forever.<p>

After Bonnie brought Stefan back to life, the dreams started. Bonnie would fall asleep and dream that she was walking through the Salvatore home. She didn't feel like herself, but she always felt confused and disoriented as if her body was something foreign. The dreams always ended with her climbing into Stefan's bed and making love to him. He always looked surprised, but expectant, as if he had no idea what was happening, but had no intention of stopping it. She'd wake up and have to pace around her home in order to shake off the weird sensations from the dream. Then the urges began. The overwhelming hunger for a body moving sensually against hers took over her mind. Her appetite was insatiable. Jeremy couldn't please her and even her desperate tryst with Damon in the atrium of the boarding house still left her wanting more. At times she was able to function with a clear head and at times Damon was able to silence the feeling for a little while, but other times the sheer frustration reduced Bonnie to a crumbled mess of tears, unable to focus on anything, but the burning inside of her body. She needed…she needed…she didn't want to think of what she needed because every time she did Stefan's face flashed in her mind.

Everything began to go downhill when Bonnie arrived unexpectedly at the Salvatore home one night, looking to lose herself between Damon's sheets after a very realistic dream about Stefan. When she woke up she swore she could still feel his hands on her. Damon wasn't home, but Stefan let her in, his jaw set more tensely than usual. When she asked him what was wrong he remained silent, letting her take a seat at the seldom used dining table before he explained to her that he and Elena had not been on the best of terms. Bonnie instantly felt remorse. She'd been so wrapped up in what was going on with her that she hadn't spoken to Elena much. She wouldn't let herself admit that she had actually been avoiding Elena since she started having dreams that revolved around sleeping with Stefan. Bonnie began to rummage through her purse for her phone to call Elena, but Stefan stopped her, pulling her hand out of her bag and placing it on the table between them.

"You're probably the last person in the world she needs a call from." He said, his hand still covering hers. Bonnie looked at him confused before realizing that his hand was touching hers. Something like electricity went through her body. She could tell Stefan felt it because his hand jolted, but never moved from its place on top of hers. She looked up into his eyes and thought she saw the same need she was sure was written all over her own face. Finally, she looked away, pulling her hand from underneath his. Stefan let his hand hit the table with a lifeless thud.

"Why wouldn't Elena want to talk to me?" She asked, trying to run through all of the short conversations she'd had with her friend since the dreams started. She wondered if Elena had found out about Damon and didn't approve or maybe somehow she found out about the dreams.

"I said your name during sex." Stefan blurted. Bonnie almost fell out of her chair. She was overcome with a level of surprise she'd never felt before that was oddly amplified by the joy of what she'd just heard and the guilt she now felt because of that joy.

"Wh-what?" She stuttered. "How did that even – how do you even make that mistake?"

"Well, I've kind of been getting in a lot of practice." He sighed, deciding that it was time he told Bonnie everything. "I've been having…dreams…well, I wouldn't call them dreams because I think I'm awake when they happen, but you come into my room and you climb into bed with me and I try to resist what I feel, but there's something that pulls me to you that I can't switch off."

Bonnie didn't know what she was hearing. These dreams sounded so much like hers. She asked a question she didn't really want the answer to: "When was your last dream?" Her voice was shaky.

"A few hours ago."

Everything seemed to melt and reshape itself into clarity. Bonnie knew what was happening and she didn't know why she didn't see it before.

"I don't think they're dreams, Stefan." She paused, wanting him to connect the dots on his own without her having to actually voice it. Realization dawned on his face.

"So this has really been happening? You remember it? You were actually here in my bedroom a few hours ago?"  
>Bonnie nodded, "But I didn't know it was real. I must have projected my body somehow. I thought it was a dream and I just needed…" She trailed off, reluctant to reveal what she'd been going through the past few months. Stefan moved from his seat to kneel in front of her.<p>

"You needed what?" He asked, grabbing her hand again. His expression pleaded with her to tell him.

"I needed_ you_. Ever since I brought you back I've had this…this hunger that I can't shake and every time I try to find out a way to get rid of it I end up in your bedroom. I…I don't know what it is or how it happened, but it's been driving me crazy. Sometimes it's all I can think about. It's the only thing that clears my head and if I'd known that – "

For a second Bonnie was confused as to why she didn't hear the sound of her own voice anymore, then she felt Stefan's lips moving over hers. She responded to him almost violently, letting his body slip between her legs so that she could pull him closer. Stefan could feel the fire raging inside of her. He'd never wanted to burn more in his life. He pulled her into a standing position and before she could balance herself he hoisted her up into his arms and headed to his bedroom, thankful for vampiric speed and the lack of furniture blocking his path. Bonnie instinctively wrapped her legs around Stefan's body as he ghosted up the stairs. When her back hit the cool sheets of his bed she was met with a sense of familiarity. Clothes were completely gone before realization hit.

"What about Elena?" Bonnie asked breathlessly as Stefan readied himself at her entrance.

"I don't know," He answered truthfully, "But I couldn't stop if I wanted to."

"_Do_ you want to? Stop, I mean."

"No." He breathed, his eyes boring into hers, silently asking the same question. She wrapped her legs tighter around him in reply. With one good thrust he sheathed his entire length inside of her body, almost losing control at the feel of how tightly she fit around him. Their movements were rhythmically frantic, possessing a wild freedom that neither of them had experienced with previous lovers. And when they came it was as if puzzle pieces fell out of a box and magically fit themselves together.

* * *

><p>It'd been a year since that encounter and Jeremy and Elena still hadn't been able to forgive them. Damon seemed to relish in the fact that Stefan was no longer in Elena's good graces, but his jealously over having another woman stolen from under him by his brother was more apparent. Bonnie and Stefan, realizing that there was little left for them in Mystic Falls, moved to New York at the end of the school year and had not heard from anyone back home until Damon called.<p>

* * *

><p>When Stefan's plane landed at JFK he tried calling Bonnie again. She hadn't been answering the phone for two days and he was extremely concerned. When he'd left for Mystic Falls she hadn't been at her best. Shortly after leaving Mystic they'd discovered that Bonnie's hunger for sex was a result of an emotional bond developed when she brought Stefan back to life. The hunger she was feeling was Stefan's hunger for human blood, but since she was not a vampire, the urge to drink manifested itself in the form of overwhelming desire. He'd had centuries to perfect his control, but Bonnie was new to this and that meant her willpower to an emotion this strong was almost nonexistent. The urges came in waves just like his craving for blood; one minute he was fine and then for days at a time it was all he could think about.<p>

He rushed home, cursing New York traffic and his poor decision to take a cab instead of going on foot. None of the calls Stefan placed on the way to their loft were answered and his imagination began to run wild, creating images of Bonnie writhing beneath another man, desperately trying to free her mind from its own prison. He wouldn't blame her. He couldn't blame her. He knew what it felt like to fight such an urge.

The loft was quiet when he arrived. He called her name, but there was no answer, he could only hear the running water of the shower. Rushing into the bathroom he found Bonnie sitting naked in the corner of the shower under the spray, her knees pulled up to her chest, head down. He pulled open the glass door and knelt in front of her, not caring that the ice cold spray was soaking through his clothes. At the sound of the door opening Bonnie looked up. He could see the agony on her face mixed with the relief she felt at his presence. Stefan placed a hand on her cheek.

"Bonnie, are you ok?"

Bonnie pounced on him, pulling him into a tight embrace and burying her face in the crook of his neck.  
>"I'm so glad you're here." She breathed, "It started yesterday and I can't stop it. It's too strong. All I want is to –"<p>

Stefan shushed her and pulled back enough to place his forehead against hers. "It's ok. I'm here now." Even through the water he could tell that Bonnie was crying. He rose to his feet, bringing her with him and stepped all the way into the shower, pressing Bonnie back against the wall. He kissed her, revelling in the feeling of the electricity that always coursed through her body and into his. His movements were slow and soothing and although Bonnie wanted speed she forced herself to follow along, recognizing his attempt to teach her control.

He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Bonnie began to try to remove Stefan's sweater, but the wet wool clung to his body and fought against her shaky grasp. Stefan removed the sweater himself while Bonnie managed to undo the button and zipper of his jeans and kick them down with her feet. Stefan slipped into her with ease, feeling Bonnie partially relax against him. He hadn't realized how tense she was. He kept his movements slow remembering what Lexi used to tell him about speed mirroring control when he would rush through his feedings, tearing living things apart without any remorse.

"Harder." Bonnie whispered, breathlessly against his ear. He obliged, still keeping the same pace, until his movements became slow, sharp thrusts. Bonnie's head repeatedly banged back against the hard tile of the shower and she didn't care that she was on the verge of losing consciousness. She couldn't let him stop until…her fingernails tore into his skin as her whole body tensed. She felt the familiar sensation of Stefan following her off of her cliff and her body fell limp against him. He slid them comfortably down to the floor of the shower and she clung to him tightly. She was still crying and apologizing and feeling the guilt she often felt when it got this bad and he had to come to her rescue.

Stefan shushed her again, "You don't have to apologize. I love you. Every part of you."

"Even this one?" She asked, her voice muffled by his shoulder.

"Yes, of course this one."

"You worry." She said, moving to look into his eyes, "I see it in your eyes. You worry that one day you won't be enough and that I'll go off and find someone else."

Stefan sighed, not at all ready to have this conversation.  
>"We'll talk about this later when you're a lot less tired. Right now you should get some rest."<p>

* * *

><p>Stefan awoke to the feel of Bonnie's lips on his. When she pulled back she was smiling and he couldn't help, but smile back. He sat up and stretched and then relaxed his whole body, letting the headboard of their bed support his full weight. Bonnie straddled his hips. Whenever she was this close Stefan could never really control what went on with his body. Bonnie slid her hand between them and he instantly hardened at her touch. She wrapped her fingers around him and began to move her hand up and down, using the same slow, calculated motions he'd used a few hours before in the shower.<p>

"I'm learning." She laughed when he moaned and leaned his head back against the headboard.

Stefan couldn't help but realize there was something different about this time. Whenever they made love there was always a sense of urgency that overcame any other emotion. He loved Bonnie and he loved being with Bonnie, but sex had always been about Bonnie. He'd never complained before, but now that he had something different to compare it to he never wanted to go back to the way it was before. This time wasn't about her. It wasn't about him. It was about them, like it should be. Their movements were in unison, caresses echoed by caresses, kisses soft and playful, moments to enjoy what was happening between them.

"There's no one else, but you." Bonnie whispered, pulling him in with her eyes. He saw the truth of the statement there, the need for him to believe her reflected in her gaze.

"It will always only be you."

He pulled her tighter, swallowing what would have been her next words with a kiss. He believed her. He'd be lying if he said that knowing no one else could make her feel this way didn't make him a little cocky. The fire was still there, but not as all consuming as it once was. They were going to be ok and even if they weren't he'd gladly burn for the rest of his life if it meant that she was the one starting the flame.


End file.
